Last Regrets
by Kyoujhi Finnie
Summary: Has a single person really moved on from his past? Was there proof that he or she managed to do that? With that said how can a new relationship even start if the strings of Last Regret lingers from their fingertips like spiderwebs-unseen yet still there. What if you mistook the spiderweb's line as the red thread of destiny...? [AsaFeli] [AsaKiku][GerIta]
1. Prologue

[ This is the prologue of a fanfiction I've recently been planning and started with the Italy Veneciano Vargas/North Italy (Axis Power Hetalia) 's admin. :D Practically based on our muse and their lovelife. Feel free to add comments and even suggestions about this! I bloody need it~! . -currently typing more of this-]

**- Arthur's POV -**

People wanted to know how I propose to the cute and charming Italian?

I was determined not to lose Feliciano nor the trust I have been giving for him. Because of my love for him, because I could think of anything but him-in every day and every sleepless nights. Whenever I lie on my bed, I remember the moments when we are together-I savored every moment; every word, every gesture, everything about him; his skills in cooking, the way he talk to me, the charming personality, his musky scent, his laugh, his funny and crazy personality, and so much more I don't even know why I love him too much.

All of this ran through my mind as I dropped to one knee and took the brunette's hand. Perhaps it wasn't an invitation but a farewell, and if it was, well at least my humiliation would not be known far and wide, confined in the very private plane we are on. "This has got to be probably the worst proposal to have ever happened." I shook his head lightly as I held my beloved's hand gently. "F-Feliciano..? Will you marry me?" I said before looking at the Italian's hazelnut eyes. "I can't promise anything but be the Arthur holding your hand right here and right now and ensure it will never be empty." 

The moment he said, "Yes" was like magic! It was like everything was all bright and nothing could match the happiness I felt. There might be no ring present but having him in my arms was enough.

I didn't want to be alone anymore… I didn't want to experience the cold stab of loneliness I have experienced before. Enough is enough…

**-Italy's POV-**

I felt so scared of experiencing that same pain when I saw my most beloved turn his back on me and promised his return. It won't happen again, right? That memory haunted me over and over again in the past centuries. There also came a time when I thought I would have recovered…I thought I could continue on with that hand upon mine. I was ready to fight for him—for him alone but then disaster came upon us.

I've been so lost and that's when I saw him. I thought of him as a fling—someone to annoy like how Big brother France said to me. "Angleterre might be annoying at times but if you respect him then it's more than enough to make friends with him." At first, I was hesitant. I didn't know why I was so scared of him. Was it because his mere stand demands respect? Was it because he was an Empire? It was like he was someone I could never talk to even in my imagination but I heard him.

"_Oi… What do you think are you doing there? If you appreciate flowers that much as to stare at it bloody enter the garden. You look like a bloody twat just staring like that"_

I have to agree. He was right. I looked like an idiot. I wanted to be friends so that's what I'm going to do!

But it seems like I've gone too far even for me to notice. Despite his cold attitude, deep inside… he was caring. He didn't dare intrude upon my privacy. He can even be adorable at given instances. I…started to love his company. And when I couldn't take it anymore, I confessed.

At first I didn't really think he took me seriously. I mean, he must have said yes because he was afraid to tell me otherwise. I didn't see any changes upon his attitude but little by little..I noticed it. His efforts… His gazes… And then that day came. Hearing his words upon his proposal, I couldn't help but feel lucky—so alive. The timeless touching on the hands and gazing upon each other's eyes; I have to admit, we are different in so many ways. The "What If's" and "Maybe's" that had passed my mind suddenly vanished. I want to treasure this person more. Please. I want to secure him in my arms.

**-Japan's POV-**

Ah…since when did my hands feel so empty? The roses upon my garden still blooms along with this feeling I have kept within myself. Wasn't it I who wanted the whole ordeal to be over so much as to declare the alliance void? Then why do I feel this sharp pain upon my chest. The feeling of warmth I felt when he held me ever so tightly; despite it being so long ago, I can still feel it around me like. Even if it was a few decades back. I can still hear his voice in a tone that only I could hear.

_/"I love you…"/_

_/"What can love do in a situation like this? Don't be a fool, Arthur-san. We both know that it is over…"/_

_/"I know you love me and I love you just as the same! It might be over for our nations but bloody hell I refuse to accept that it is over between us."/_

_/"Stop making it harder that it already is..Can't you understand that-"/_

_/"Calling me by my name and not my nation name—You gave the game away. Fine… if you really wanted me away then push me away. Tell me you hate me. Tell me you don't love. Stop using the alliance as an excuse to send me away, Kiku. "/_

Curse him and his ways. It's his entire fault as to why I can't forget him. Whenever I see him, my heart still skips a beat. I tend to hide this all to myself as I watch him get on with his life. The awkwardness still remains from within whenever he visits but I pushed that aside to just have him close. It might never be the same… but it is enough, right?

It has to be enough. I have to be satisfied…Afterall, he's already engaged. He's already engaged to one of my most trusted and loyal friend. Let me alone mourn this event. I feel my heart crushed in a thousand of pieces.

_/"Italy-san, I can trust you, right?"/_

_/"Eh? Of course! "/_

_/"No nothing… I just wanted to make sure."/_

The rose has to wilt. It has to. I will force it to wilt or else I will just be in pain. Happiness is a choice, right? So… I have to choose happiness over regret… right?

That's it.

Happiness… I wish them happiness.

**-Germany's POV-**

Working my way on the paperwork that my boss had given me, I planned visiting Italy—No, specifically, Feliciano. I'm sick and tired of having him not looking me in the eye since that day. Since that horrid day, that our alliance broke and we merely stopped talking to each other like a pair of idiots. I think it's time I set things right. I should apologize and even fall to my knees if I have to. I want him in my life again.

It's never the same without him but I'd love the change he brought when he entered it and not when he left it. Just what am I thinking? I was so sure of myself back then…So sure that he was someone out of my league when he clearly wasn't. He was right there… Smiling, holding my hand and promising me a day that I thought would be impossible. Because of that silly belief I had, I let him go.

I used a silly term like, "we are nothing more but children to believe in such a thing". Perhaps I was the real child in the relationship…Of course I was because not only did I break his heart, I also broke his trust.

Occasionally, he would look at me with a smile but that's not the same smile I wanted him to have on me. I'm selfish. Completely and utterly selfish for wishing for this but Almighty God, you've gone too far to take him away from me. It was just one mistake. One small mistake and right now, I wish to fix it more than anything.

You can't even stop me right now. Not now. Not ever.

"Have you heard?" Prussia trailed off as he was sitting on the sofa close to my table while reading the morning paper.

"Of what?"

"You've been so busy lately, West! You should get out more and listen to the news from around you~!"

"I'll eventually hear it at the upcoming EU* meeting so there will no point upon hearing it anywhere el—"

"Ita-chan's sighing an alliance with the British. Specifically….England."

"S-So what?"

"It's no ordinary alliance. It's a mutual understanding, if you know what I mean…"

The pen that I was holding fell as I looked at my brother with a questioning gaze. This can't be happening, right? I wanted to slam my hands on the table and yell but that wasn't proper at all. Instead I kept my gaze locked upon the pen on the ground.

_/"Some things are hard to fix no matter how easily it looks! It's over and both of us know it. "/_

…Since when has this situation become this worst? I lost him.

So this how he felt when I said those words…

In the end I was the one who wasn't convinced.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter I

The thread is snapping

They had fights, yes. That was normal but a fight that has gone a week before it was done and thrown aside was something Arthur sees as a misfortune. Why? Because he thought both of them didn't have the stamina to further a fight that he didn't even know when and how it started. He knew there was no such as thing as a perfect relationship as much as he hoped there would be but the way they were arguing was utterly saddening him.

A day would pass by without them even noticing each other's presence despite living in the same house. The bed felt like there was a wall built between them and the once warm cozy blankets were now sometimes the cause of a huge bicker.

Of course he knows the real meaning behind the fight but it was for him a petty excuse to even have a fight. They have been married for two years now and it may be considered young for a couple but to hell with it he believed they were mature enough to handle a situation like that. Pushing the thought aside, he couldn't believe Feliciano was just as stubborn as him when it comes to opinions. Not that he wanted to manipulate him—No, that was the least thing he wanted to even do. He was glad he had opinions but when it comes to matters of the heart both of them are really "twisted" as France would refer to it.

As much as he would love to ponder why he and his lover isn't talking to each other, he focused on the problem itself. He knew certain truths should be the spoken but the way his lover said those words really were at the tip of the iceberg. There was something about Feliciano's voice that night which really ticked him off big time.

"So you went over to Japan's house again today…"

That was the start. There was something in his voice…no, the very tone he was using when he rolled those words from his tongue. He seemed like he hated his best friend. He set the thought aside thinking that it was his imagination and that he was just tired.

"Yes. It's been a while since we've actually had a nice chat so-"

"I guess, that can't be blamed. Ve~ You both have such similarities that revolves than just tea, isn't that right Arthur?"

Something was really off about him now. He couldn't look at his expression because he was facing the dishes which he was washing. He didn't eat dinner at home. Is that it? he called him on the phone hours ago to tell him that he was going to Japan's place and he even happily said to bring him back some mochis—which explains the small box placed on the table.

"Though similar, Japan and I have quite a large difference even at the things we do with similarity."

Silence followed that very event.

The following day was a lot more chaotic.

What could it be? What could have sent this relationship to a sudden abyss England had failed to anticipate?

"_Why couldn't you tell me sooner? England we are married! MARRIED! The least you could do was tell me!"_

"_Tell you what exactly?!"_

"_That you and my best friend had a relationship!"_

_Ah… Now he remembered. _

He didn't tell him about his past relationship with Japan. The relationship he fought for and almost lost himself with. Why? It's because he was too scared to lose him. He knew Japan's value to the Italian's life and so he made sure all evidences about their relationship was kept secret. Besides that, his and Japan's relationship back then was only known to two more nations: America and France. Could they have told the Italian? To achieve what? Do they hate him that much?

To face reality, his relationship with Japan was utter tranquility since they separated their nation lives from their living lives. That made the relationship last until the middle of the World War II and ended by the Japanese himself. The relationship, too, was a secret. It was the only thing they could think of to avoid it being used against them but of course the relationship ended a long time ago.

"_You didn't even bother telling me about it. Did you know just how hurt I was when I was told by a person that? Did you know? Of course not! Who knows, you might even be dating him!"_

"_Bloody hell! It's enough doubting me but doubting your best friend is another thing entirely, Feliciano!"_

"_Did you just-" _

"_Can't you even think that I hid that fact from you because of a reason. A bloody reason that wouldn't even include cheating on you with your bestfriend! "_

"_Try being in my position for once, Arthur!"_

"_I shall if you bloody step into my shoes!"_

"_Understanding you can be so hard sometimes!"_

"_Why I never—Do you even know how hard to understand you, Mr. Perfect?! You suddenly went silent on me five days ago for a reason Hell knows what and now you're sprouting nonsense about me and your bestfriend cheating on you-? Do you even hear yourself?! "_

"_Why are you even so goddamn angry?! The least you could do was tell me and problem solved! "_

"_How can I bloody tell you when you aren't even listening?!"_

"_So I have to ask every detail of your life so I could know? Arthur, I did not become your husband to beg for your personal information! Okay, fine… So Mr. Kirkland, when did you start dating my bestfriend? "_

"_Are you even trying to understand the reason or are you plain giving me a bloody hard time explaining myself! "_

"_Oh…Is that it now? Are you complaining about how hard having a husband-"_

"_Our relationship is so bloody important to me, you know that, right? So before I say something to even bloody upset you even more I'm leaving!"_

"_Uggh! Arthur, you can't walk out when we're actually having a conversation!"_

"_If this is a bloody conversation to you and then I'm off to see the seagulls! Maybe they have a more descent way of conversing! My patience isn't made for this bloody conversation—I'll strengthen it in due time."_

"_ARTHUR!"_

"…_.Quit being so selfish, maybe? I'll tell you when you're ready to actually listen. "_

Maybe he could have just told him about it? Maybe he could—rain. What's the point of him covering anyway? Here was another element he had no control over along side with Feliciano's argument—he welcomes the English rain. It was been there longer and bloody hell right now he feels like he was being given a nice way to cool off.

Burying his head on the palm of his hands, he shuts his eyes. Gods, it always felt horrible after they had a fight and the mere thought of not being able to go back was something he hated. Regret was always his bestfriend and there it was patting his back like the good friend it was. That's right rain… just wash his problems away for the day.

"Igirisu-san? What are you doing out here in the rain like this? " That voice sounds familiar so he raised his head and saw a pair of chocolate eyes watching him. Strange chocolate eyes that he knew all too well were looking at him. He looked above and saw the rain was being kept away by the umbrella he was holding.

"Say….Japan, what would you do if you're seeing the end of your relationship?"

The Japanese looked stun for a moment before sighing. "Come… I may not know the answer but I think I could try to understand better if we're not in the pouring rain. "


End file.
